wondering if all mothers out there gone thru what I've gone thru..

Salam...

Nothing much to say... Rite now, all I can say my energy level is so low each day.. Tak tahu smpai bila buleh tahan with this condition... Rees have been quite demanding lately, nak kene angkat selalu.. Bile letak je, she will be crying asking me to carry her.. My arm da rasa lenguh, kdg2 makan pon da x menentu skrg.. Probbly selalu dimanjakan by her aunties... Ni pon 'curi time' to tulis blog to let out my feelings as Rees is sleeping, & me waiting for my bro to fetch me for dinner to my dad's place... Da tentu malam ni Rees will be waking up through out the nite, she's been sleeping since 6pm after her bathtime... I can imagine what a nite will be for me to go thru... ::sigh::

Due to my current condition, being 'zombie' all the time, I don't know whether it DOES lead to my emotional reaction.. I wonder does all mothers out there go thru what I go thru rite now.. Sometimes i just want to take a time off, because I have no space for myself... Aku rasa aku da x kenal diri aku eversince ada anak.. I'm not saying I'm a cruel mother, but that's how I felt rite now..

Apa yg org cakap, even WN , somtimes I just can't take it... It does makes me feel worst, hopeless & useless all the time... I tried my best to holding on but I'm just a human being, I do breakdown sometimes... I do feel as if I'm falling apart, but deep down I always say to myself, my baby needs me, and that's what keeps me moving on, but sampai bila??

Yes, I admit, today is a hard day for me to go thru... Its just one of my bad hair day.. Lately, selalu sgt ada bad hair day.. Do I need help?? Or is it another /normal thinggy that all new mothers hv to thru?? ::sigh again::

WN admit that he sometimes 'terasa hati' with the things I said to him.. Ntahla.. aku pon ada jugak terasa... Wondering if I've been asking too much?? or is it me being too sensitive or demanding?? My time is very tight attending to Rees.. I have no words to say.. speechless.. I hate this feeling.. Fikiran pon start kusut, really cannot think straight... :(

I hope I will get over with this feeling yang tak best langsung ni..

On my own...

Salam..
Its been 5 days I'm here in KL ,at my lovely home... Its great to be home.. I'm still in my 32 days of confinement... Bila balik rumah sendiri, semua kene buat sendirila, kecuali masak.. Luckily, WN will prepare for me after he got back from work.. Esoknya makan lauk yg sama, reheat dalam microwave je.. At nights, we take turns bangun to feed Rees, this part I like the most, because masa staying at my mertua's, malam la paling sakit... Phewww.. Husband Mithali :P

Rite now, my baby is sleeping.. Tghari ni tidur pulak dia... Puas kejutkan still dia buat 'don-no' x nak bangun.. Semalam Mama Ngah (JH, her aunty, my sister) came with her kids.. Wah, Rees di layan, di peluk , di dukung by Mama Ngah... Lama jugak la, malam tu Rees selalu merengek minta diangkat... Letih aku & WN dibuatkannya... Luckily she fall asleep around 12am... Then, Rees hanya bangun evry 2-3 hours nak susu je..

oooo ya.. the house da berwajah baru.. WN rearranged the house.. Habis berubah , a better arrangement actually, nmpak luas than before...

Eversince ada anak... I'm always busy... busy attending her, mcm skrg she's sleeping, so dapatla relax kejap & online on the internet. Sometimes, I missed my meal... nak mandi pon, I'll make sure I feed her & put her to sleep so that I can carry on..

Malam tadi I start feeding her with new formula... WN & I tried to feed her 'Nestle Lactogen'.. We fed her with S-26 before, but as her Mak Su dia kata, "Mahal S-26 tau, skrg x lah terasa, da besar sikit nnti, kene beli pack 2 pack besar monthly" Hmmm.. Alhamdulilah, so far till now, it seems Rees has no problem taking the new formula.. Harap2 the new formula suits he, manala tahu kut-kut tak sesuai pulak nantikan..

Oops my baby is awake pulak.. So continue later.. Banyak nak tulis ni.. Sabarrrrrr :D

Everyday I'm a zombie-mom!

Salam...

Phewww... Eversince ada baby.. mmg x pernah cukup tidur... Setiap mlm akan berjaga setiap 2 jam.. My baby nak susu.. Kdg2 bile time nk expressed my own milk terus tak tido selama 3 hours... My friends used to remind me while I was pregnant before "Mas, u better get enough sleep before the baby comes out!" Masa tu endah dgn x endah je apa member2 ckp... Yelah x pernah merasa lagi jaga mlm...kan??

Each nite terasa hubby tiada di sisi... Yelah sejak berpantang, WN is a weekend husband/daddy.. So kalau dia smpai Jumaat, mlm tu he will take over the 'stand-by-mode-duty' like feeding Rees & changing her diapers.. Barulah aku buleh tido utk beberapa jam.. Itupon terpaksa bgn & spend abt 1 hour to express my milk..

This coming Sunday, I'll be back to KL.. Balik rumah sendiri.. Cukup sebulan berpantang di rumah mertua.. lepas ni pantang la sendiri... Tak tahu la mcm nanti uruskan segalanya dgn sendirinya espc bila laundry time.. Kat sini aku di layan sperti puteri raja, kain baju semua ada org buatkan... Harap2 I could manage well bila di rumah sendiri nanti.. Nasib baik we decided to 'upah' his aunty to cook for me everyday... Kalau x, tak tahu la mcm nak manage semuanya nanti..

Rees semakin sihat .. alhamdulilah.. setiap hari I'm learning new things being mother... The most exciting moment is taking Rees for bathtime!! Itssss so stress reliefing... Her bathtime creates the bonding btween me & her stronger... Rees really enjoyed her moment too! :D

Rite now sejak brestfeed, I got myself hungry easily.. I consumed a lot of food lately... Dulu masa mula2 bersalin, aku ada control my food intake, tapi sejak kene 'sound' with my in laws, aku da makan byk.. To them, I'm eating for 2 person... So x payah nak mengada-ngada control makan! Yela simptom NAIK BADAN is one of the scariest thing for each women epsc lepas bersalin... But I will control my diet bile Rees d 2-3months old...
WN advise for me to start diet masa pregnant dulu2 bila da abis pantng nanti... Let's see mana yg brjaya utk my diet!

So okla.. my baby da bunyi alarm, tanda nk susu la tu.. I'll write more soon.. Perhaps I should put the latest pict of me & Rees later... hehehehe...

Seing her growing up day by day..

Rees now 19 days old today.. kejap nak masuk 3 weeks old.. Rasa mcm baru smlm 'meneran' dia keluar dari perut.. Hahahaha...

A lot of changes I see in her lately like :
1. Her look: Totally 100% muka Abahnya.. Xde langsung muka aku... Hmmm... Anyway muka dia berubah setiap hari..
2. Her cheek: Looks chubbier now.. byk minom susu.. Minom setiap 2 jam pagi & malam..
3. Her movements: Very active.. Selalu gerakkan tangan & tendang2 kaki when she's awake.. Skrg bila tak dibendung da sibuk2 nak mengiring ke kiri and capai apa yg dapat di capai epsc during changing her diapers.. Skrg da pandai sepak botol susu when she finished minom...
4. Her weight: Last week she weighed about 3.5kg... Skrg ni mesti la naik lagi...
5. Her favourite time: Tgh malam ajak main or borak.. Skrg dia da suka mandi sbb mandi air suam.. best la kan! And of course bila Abahnya ada di sisi! :D
6. Her nightmare!!: Still x nak suckle my breast.. This the time where she will cry like nobody else business! So I can't breastfeed her direct.. kene bagi pakai botol.. ::sigh:: That's why I have to perah susu setiap 3- 4 jam sehari..

Apa lagi... O ya.. the day when she was born, I can barely see her eyebrow.. Mmg takde bulu kening, macam kene cukur.. Yesterday while I was feeding her, I saw a thin black line appearing on her forehead.. Hah da ada bulu kening! Alhamdulilah...

So far, she's doing good.. Still xde buat hal like menangis kuat2 or meragam.. Mamanya pon still adjusting with the time to handle her.. Byk lagi yg Mamanya still need to learn... Its a matter of experiencing it everyday.. & the challenge of coping up.. Buleh sabar ke tak...

Ok that's all I can share at this moment, still a lot more to go.. My mom in law dok risau I mengadap PC/monitor while writing this blog.. She will say like "Mas, don't strain your eyes, pegila relax!" hehehehe

Salam.. Have a nice weekend! :)