Salam...
Nothing much to say... Rite now, all I can say my energy level is so low each day.. Tak tahu smpai bila buleh tahan with this condition... Rees have been quite demanding lately, nak kene angkat selalu.. Bile letak je, she will be crying asking me to carry her.. My arm da rasa lenguh, kdg2 makan pon da x menentu skrg.. Probbly selalu dimanjakan by her aunties... Ni pon 'curi time' to tulis blog to let out my feelings as Rees is sleeping, & me waiting for my bro to fetch me for dinner to my dad's place... Da tentu malam ni Rees will be waking up through out the nite, she's been sleeping since 6pm after her bathtime... I can imagine what a nite will be for me to go thru... ::sigh::
Due to my current condition, being 'zombie' all the time, I don't know whether it DOES lead to my emotional reaction.. I wonder does all mothers out there go thru what I go thru rite now.. Sometimes i just want to take a time off, because I have no space for myself... Aku rasa aku da x kenal diri aku eversince ada anak.. I'm not saying I'm a cruel mother, but that's how I felt rite now..
Apa yg org cakap, even WN , somtimes I just can't take it... It does makes me feel worst, hopeless & useless all the time... I tried my best to holding on but I'm just a human being, I do breakdown sometimes... I do feel as if I'm falling apart, but deep down I always say to myself, my baby needs me, and that's what keeps me moving on, but sampai bila??
Yes, I admit, today is a hard day for me to go thru... Its just one of my bad hair day.. Lately, selalu sgt ada bad hair day.. Do I need help?? Or is it another /normal thinggy that all new mothers hv to thru?? ::sigh again::
WN admit that he sometimes 'terasa hati' with the things I said to him.. Ntahla.. aku pon ada jugak terasa... Wondering if I've been asking too much?? or is it me being too sensitive or demanding?? My time is very tight attending to Rees.. I have no words to say.. speechless.. I hate this feeling.. Fikiran pon start kusut, really cannot think straight... :(
I hope I will get over with this feeling yang tak best langsung ni..
4 comments:
Mas,
It all sounds way too familiar. You are not alone. I had the same problem with my baby. I think most new mothers find it hard to cope for the first 2-3 months. Sleep deprivation is always a MAJOR issue. And you feel bad for feeling this way, i.e. wanting some time for yourself and wanting to sleep for as long as you want. It makes you feel like a bad mother and you're afraid that people are judging you.
My advice is, don't feel bad and get as much help as you can from people around you. Talk to someone, if possible another mother. Trust me, it helps to vent out your frustration.
Dwindling relationship with hubby? Well, again, from my experience, dua-dua kena banyak2 bersabar and selalu ingat Allah. Memang la, bila hati dan fikiran tengah serabut, ada saja la ayat2 yg menyakitkan keluar dari mulut even when we dont mean it. But Insyaallah, selagi both parties are focused to make it work, things will fall into place. Of course la, kita kena jaga sikit our temper. Let our husband know our feeling but in a nice way. And kita pun kena dengar rintihan hati dia. I bet he's tired too. Kalau ada peluang and ada yang boleh babysit Baby Rees for a few hours, go out on a date with your hubby. Put on something nice, wear the perfume that he loves so much and put on your killer heels.
I hope things will get better soon, Insyaallah.
Take care.
O
Salam mas, moga mas dan baby sihat. Sorry tak dapat tengok mas tempohari sebab sedang kursus 40 hari...hehehe...macam tempoh berpantang plakkan? Baru masuk kerja sepenuhnya minggu lepas.
Hi Mas.. I read this a few days back actually and at that time I was not in the right 'mood' to respond/share with you. But somehow I have been thinking about you as I was driving back home from work. :)
Whatever that you are feeling or going thru now is normal :) Dont feel bad. Yes you are tired. New stuff is happening around you. You are going thru the adjustment period. Taking care of a baby is not easy :) It is a great challenge - not forgetting a nice kind of challenge.
Perhaps, I'd suggest take a day off or half a day off from Baby Rees. Get someone to babysit, and you go take a break to be with yourself or use this time to go for a hot date with WN. Get your energy back. This does not mean that you are ignoring your baby but you need to be with yourself to gather the energy :) After that, you will feel better and more relaxed.
WN plays an important role during this time too. However, remember, both of you are in the adjusting period. Both kena byk sabar and communicate :)
Baby visiting hours: The time when you receive many guests/relatives coming to your house - somehow baby Rees nap time will be disturbed. If you ask me, I would say, it's ok to tell the guests/relatives that baby Rees is sleeping and tell them not to pick her up from her bed or pass her around. Because, if baby Rees becomes cranky - you are the one who will not get enough rest. :) People might say things, but at the end of the day, it is your choice :)
Stay calm.. and enjoy being a mother ;)
Hope it'll help sebanyak sedikit :)
take care;
Kak Ein
Thanks all for being so concern with the wonderful advice.. Sorry for the late reply.. my time limited to be online. yess.. It helps me sedikit sebnyak la.. hehehe.. and yet I'm still coping up.. Now I'm getting used with the being a mom with endless nites & days x cukup tidor.. hehehe
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